Fight with Moishe and Mahi Mahi

I had a fight with my motorcycle whose name is Moishe (Moses the Liberator). We had a difference of opinions: Moishe was intent on going forward, while I was determined to back him up into his proper parking spot. For those of you, Beautiful People, who don’t know, motorcycles do not have a reverse gear; you back them up manually. Against all rules and years of experience, I attempted to do it with the engine on, in the process accidentally turning the throttle up. Moishe lunged forward, dragging me with him, but I managed to reach the break and stop him. He retaliated by running his back tire over my ancle, resulting in a triple fracture. As I lay on the ground, a cluster of onlookers started gathering around the small pool of blood forming under my scratched toes, which was quite a shocking site for South Beach: we can’t always distinguish between the sounds of gunshots and fireworks heard here fairly often, but here they saw blood with no shots. BLOOD… blood… blood… susurrated the South Beach vampires, and nobody noticed that my foot was turned at a right angle to my leg – sideways. In truth, there wasn’t enough blood to interest Lestat and his friends, but midday entertainment is also a rare occurrence in our party land, where life starts after 11 PM.

If you have never met Anne Rice’s famous Vampire Lestat, here is your chance:

Asked by a policeman, who materialized at the scene, whether he should call an ambulance, I declined. By that time, my husband heard the commotion and ran out of the house. “I am going home,” -I declared – “I’ll put ice on it, and it’ll be fine.” As the cop opened his mouth, my husband whispered, “Don’t even try to argue with her; it’s useless.” Holding on to The Boss, I proceeded to hop through the gate and to the porch, where I finally collapsed on the steps. Ambulance was duly called, and I was delivered to Mount Sinai Hospital ER.

The first doctor who attended to me tried to read me the riot act, “What would a fifty-year old lady want with a motorcycle!” He stopped when he noticed my husband smirking. I was laughing through pain, “I am always eighteen, Doctor, but my son is fifty-one, so perhaps you want to look at my chart.” His jaw dropped, but to his credit, he recovered quickly, and showered me with compliments, which I, following Ms Manners’ guidance, accepted gracefully. “We’ll fix you temporarily,” – he said, “but you’ll have to have surgery. Meanwhile, I will take you on a fabulous trip. What’s your most favorite place in the world?” If he is a joker, I’ll play along: “Florence, Italy.” “Have a nice trip,” he said, and the nurse plunged something into the IV port. The trip was spectacular! I did not see the actual Florence, but the fluidly morphing shapes and colors felt like spirit and essence of this most beautiful city in the world. I did not want to come back from this little psychedelic vacation. But they supplied me with Percocet and sent me home.

It took a full month for the swelling to subside sufficiently to schedule surgery, which I finally had three days ago, acquiring two titanium screws and a plate. During this month I refused to take Percocet and feel sleepy because I had to finish the semester. Since I teach online, my students didn’t know and still don’t. My poor husband had to assume triple responsibilities: in addition to running his business, he had to take on all the household duties, including cooking (under my supervision), and take care of me. Being confined to bed or, alternatively, the couch, prevented me from cooking and thus from creating new posts.

However, food for Shabbos must be made, and prepared foods, available in Kosher stores, are not exactly compliant with The Boss’ diet. He bravely stepped up to the plate, or, rather, the grill, placed cut Mahi Mahi on it, splashed balsamic vinegar and sprinkled Mrs Dash on top, and set the timer on 5 minutes. I did taste the final product, and it is yummy!

Of course, tonight it will be properly plated (by me, sitting on the couch). Visualize a delicate oval Royal Bohemian platter, fish pieces attractively arranged on bed of baby greens, with feathery dill sprigs and capers scattered over them, and a fresh lemon rose in the center. Sorry, Beautiful People, we cannot take photos on Shabbos, but we have enjoyed every Shabbos of my forced immobility, and we intend to fully enjoy the Boss’ culinary creation!

37 Comments Add yours

  1. slmret says:

    Ouch! And I would agree with the doctor — what is a 50 y/o doing on a motorcycle?! I’m glad you’ve had the surgery now, and can heal properly — and it’s good that you have help at home — the majimahi sounds delicious!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Dear friend, my son is 51 -you can do your math! That family photo was taken last year at my 70th birthday party.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. slmret says:

        Got it! It was just such a great comment from the doctor, who also knew better, and your answer was priceless! There is a TV ad here in which a woman says that “Women’s ages are just numbers — and mine is unlisted!” I thnk yours was unlisted when you went to the hospital. Having said that, I hope you can now heal quickly and be back soon to doing what you enjoy most!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you so much, dear friend! I like the “unlisted number” idea, thank you.

        Like

  2. Julia says:

    Oh, I am so sorry about your accident. It makes me hurt just to think about it! My you recover quickly and ride again soon!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, dear Julia, for your kind wishes. The worst is behind me, and I will ride, swim, and sail again!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. What a story!
    Best wishes for a speedy recovery. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, dear Ronit. The Mahi Mahi was delicious, though, and The Boss also made corn salsa and guacamole to go with it, so Shabbat was very enjoyable.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. No matter your age, if you want an adventure, you should have one.

    Lots of prayers for a continued recovery!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amen! Thank you so much for your kindness, dear Mimi!

      Like

  5. Garfield Hug says:

    I am sorry to hear about your fight with Moishe and am glad the feisty lady in you did manage to get self into hospital. Please take care and I doubt you will ever hang up your biker boots anytime soon. Blessings for a full recovery.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your blessings are truly appreciated, sweetheart. You guessed right: the moment I can, I’ll ride again.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Garfield Hug says:

        You are a unique and forward looking, never say die lady! Go for it…..but only when you leg is fully healed! Take care.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Thank you so much for your kind wishes, darling!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. omg. glad you are ok.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Of course I am ok, dear Patricia – I wouldn’t have it otherwise! Thank you for stopping by.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Now you tell us! For goodness sake! I trust you are now well heeled

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes I am (LOL), and I did not want to tell the story before surgery. Now I am well on to recovery and intend to ride again soon.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Amazing. Now I imagine you on as bike as if on a Thelwell pony.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I believe I had my photo on a bike, long time ago in one of my posts, and I don’t recall which one. As to a pony, I am not familiar with Thelwell ponies, but there is also a photo of me riding a horse somewhere.

        Like

      3. Thank you so much for educating me, Derrick. Those illustrations are outstanding.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. CarolCooks2 says:

    Dear Dolly, I am so sorry to hear about your unfortunate accident but tell your doctor if he wants to know of older ladies riding mechanical scooters he should come here age has no barrier…particularly when it comes to getting from A-Z…I hope your break heals cleanly and quickly…do take care dear Dolly xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your kind wishes, dear Carol! 😻

      Liked by 1 person

      1. CarolCooks2 says:

        That’s a given dear Dolly…its something none of us want to do as we get older and break something so I truly do hope you heal quickly and are as good as new xx

        Liked by 1 person

      2. With two titanium screws and a plate, I will be new and improved, dear Carol. They say it’s an expensive metal!

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Oh my! What a story to tell. Hope you heal quickly, and enjoy being pampered a little by your wonderful husband! 💕❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your kind wishes, dear Dorothy.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. chattykerry says:

    Oh my goodness, Dolly! Somehow I didn’t think you would be riding a motorcycle…😉 So sorry about your misadventure and I hope you recover well from the surgery. Sending you a hug. K x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dear Kerry, I’ve been riding since college. Thank you so much for your kind wishes, darling! Hugs right back to you! 😻

      Liked by 1 person

  11. OMG! I hope you are a quick healer, it sounds like a horrible injury, so sorry! I had no idea you were a badass with a motorcycle! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dear Tiffany, I am a badass all around! Thank you so much for your kind wishes, darling.

      Like

  12. lghiggins says:

    Well, Dolly, I assumed your absence was caused by a real trip to the real Florence, Italy or some other fun adventure. I’m sorry it has been less than fun, but you have a great attitude! At 50 (just a number) I biked solo from Idaho to ABQ, NM. I’m not mechanically inclined, but I had to fix the bike once on the way. Despite not being a curvy road enthusiast and not seeing well in the dark, I traveled down a mountain at night. I had a road drop away into multiple inches of gravel, but didn’t drop Jenny, the bike. I did a lot of praying during the three day trip and loved it! Now at 70 this month, I wouldn’t do it again. I still ride, but not a big street bike like before. I have a dual sport Kawasaki Super Sherpa that I adore. It’s so much lighter which helps when I try to do things like back up in the gravel! Unfortunately, it is not freeway worthy as it maxes out at about 60 mph. I feel for you as my brother has spent the last year recovering from a car accident in which his foot was broken at the ankle and required several surgeries. It sounds like your recovery may be quicker; I hope so. Like you, he also had a very positive attitude and is recovering well. I am praying for a quick and complete recovery for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, dear Linda! I am so glad I have a sister in spirit. You have a cook bike – ride on!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Doug Thomas says:

    Wow! The things I’m finding out during my “catch-up” phase after being without a proper way to follow friends’ blog posts for a bit over three months while a laptop replacement drama went on! I’m glad you are “repaired” and better, Dolly.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Doug. Another month or two, and I will be riding again, G-d willing.

      Like

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