The Scone of Stone

The Scone of Stone was stolen! It was stolen from the most unexpected and the best guarded place, The Dwarf Bread Museum. Of course, dwarf breads were substantially different from our breads; that is, different in substance. In fact, they included gravel as one of the main ingredients. According to the late Sir Terry Pratchett, whose whimsical imagination gave birth to Discworld and everything in it, “they were probably as edible now as they were on the day they were baked. “Forged” was a better term. Dwarf bread was made as a meal of last resort and also as a weapon and a currency” (The Fifth Elephant).

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The new Low King of dwarfs was about to be crowned, but the Scone of Stone, a crucial element of coronation procedure, went missing. To explain the vital role of it, here is a dialogue between the valiant Commander of Watch Vimes, whose responsibility it is to find it, and a distinguished vampire-on-the-wagon Lady Margolotta who speaks with a heavy Transylvanian accent:

We’ll have to wait until they bake another one?” said Vimes.

“No. There will be no more Low Kings,” said Lady Margolotta. “Legitimacy, you see. The Scone represents continuity all the vay to B’hrian Bloodaxe. They say he sat on it vhile it vas still soft and left his impression, as it vere.”

“You mean kingship has passed from bu—backside to backside?”

“Humans believe in crowns, don’t they?”

“Yes, but at least they’re at the other end!”

“Thrones, then.” Lady Margolotta sighed. “People set such store by strange things. Crowns. Relics. Garlic…

Now that you had your little chuckle, the most incredible part of this fantasy is that it is based on reality: a unique heist, or, as it was called, “a heist 600 years in the making.”

This film is based on real events. Stone of Destiny, AKA Stone of Scone, over which Scottish Kings were traditionally crowned at Scone in Perthshire, was captured by King Edward I of England in 1296 to be installed under the British throne at Westminster Abbey in London. Subsequent British monarchs, including the current Queen Elizabeth II, have been crowned on it.  However, In 1950, four Scottish students managed to steal it from Westminster Abbey and return it to Scotland. One of them, Ian Hamilton, tells this amazing story.

The students were never prosecuted, but “the Stone of Scone was returned to London, where it remained until 1996, when it was moved to Edinburgh Castle “on loan” with the understanding that it would be brought back to Westminster Abbey for the next Coronation” (Wikipedia).

With all due respect to dear friends across the pond, I have tasted scones several times and every time was reminded of gravel as an essential ingredient. Not my thing, I thought, until a wonderful blogger and custodian of two gorgeous kitty boys weggieboy  mentioned that one of my posts had prompted him to make scones, and Boy! Were they yummy! Obviously, I saw it as a challenge: can I make scones that will not belong in the Dwarf Bread Museum?

Scones 1.jpg

I have studied a bunch of various recipes, and finally came up with this. I whisked spelt flour with brown sugar, baking powder and a pinch of salt. For our purposes, I consider spelt gluten free, but please consult your physician. I am sure gluten free flour of your choice could be used instead. Meanwhile, I had some Smart Balance in the freezer, getting ready.

Scones 3.jpg

Smart Balance, or any other non-dairy butter substitute, is softer than butter, so it should be frozen solid in order to be diced. You have to dice it very quickly as it softens literally under your fingers. Add it to the flour mixture but do not overwork it.

Scones 4.jpg

I know that classic scones have currants in them, but I had these huge juicy blueberries, so I mixed them in.  Better than gravel!

Scones 2.jpg

Finally, whisk some aquafaba (or an egg, if you want), together with non-dairy prostokvasha, or clabbered milk (for recipe, please click here), or any store-bought non-dairy kefir of yogurt. Add some vanilla extract and gradually incorporate it into the flour mixture. Turn it onto floured work surface and gently kneed.

Scones 5.jpg

The dough will be crumbly, but don’t worry, just don’t overdo it. Flatten it into thick rounds and cut into wedges.

Scones 6.jpg

Why scones must be this shape, I have no idea, unless it’s another one of those dwarf traditions that “people set store by.” Arrange your wedges on a lightly misted with oil baking sheet, spray them with oil (or use egg wash), and sprinkle with a mix of cocoa powder and xylitol or powdered sugar. Send it to the oven for a while and read some Terry Pratchett. Have a good laugh.

Scones 7

The more chocolate, the better! A splash of chocolate syrup never hurt anybody. As good as my scones look, they will not be accepted into the Dwarf Bread Museum for two reasons: first of all, they came out moist and delicious, and secondly, they disappeared faster that you can say CORONATION.

INGREDIENTS

  • 2 cups spelt flour
  • 3 tablespoons light brown sugar
  • 2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 3/4 teaspoon salt
  • ½ cup frozen Smart Balance, diced
  • 1 cup blueberries
  • 1/2 cup non-dairy prostokvasha (clabbered milk), kefir, or yogurt
  • 3/4 cup aquafaba or 1 large egg
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • Unsweetened cocoa powder mixed with xylitol or powdered sugar for dusting

PROCEDURE

  • Preheat oven to 400 F. Lightly mist baking sheet with oil.
  • Mix flour, brown sugar, baking powder, and salt. Add diced Smart Balance, mix lightly. Add blueberries.
  • Whisk together prostokvasha, aquafaba, and vanilla extract. Gently incorporate into flour mixture, turn out dough onto floured work surface, lightly knead.
  • Form thick rounds (about 1 inch or 2.5 cm), cut into wedges. Transfer to baking sheet. Mist with oil or paint with egg wash, sprinkle with mix of cocoa powder and powdered sugar or xylitol.
  • Bake for 20 – 25 minutes or until golden brown.  Cool on rack.

Enjoy! 

 

 

 

84 Comments Add yours

  1. A_Boleyn says:

    I saw the movie “Stone of Destiny” years ago … as I’m a fan of Robert Carlyle (The Fully Monty) so the whimsical story of the dwarven scones was a nice intro. My scones have always been sort of a sweetish biscuit to which I added dried fruits like raisins or cranberries and orange zest. Your recipe seems quite ‘healthy’ but not something I’d whip up to eat buttered and jammed with a cup of tea. I do try not to overdo it on the sugar. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, if you plan to have scones the traditional way, “buttered and jammed,” you’ll have to reduce sugar, definitely. I think that using “live” blueberries instead of dry fruit made them moist and juicy, rather than hard which is what I disliked in all the scones I’ve tasted. It’s a matter of preference, of course!

      Liked by 3 people

      1. A_Boleyn says:

        I agree that using fresh fruit is a plus in giving you a moist scone however I’m more likely to have dried fruit in my pantry than fresh fruit in my crisper drawer when I’m inspired to make them. 🙂

        I’ve only posted pics of my scones once … a brown sugar, dried cranberries and creme fraiche version. The creme fraiche made them much too rich for my taste and I’d probably use yogurt next time.

        https://a-boleyn.livejournal.com/140495.html

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I understand – different climates. I am much more likely to have fresh fruit and berries that need to be used up. Right now I have a bag of avocados brought by a friend whose tree was a casualty of Irma, so for the next few days I’ll be making all kinds of avocado things.
        Your scones look lovely, and I agree – creme fraiche would make them quite rich. 😻

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow your scones look breathtakingly lovely and so yummy to eat right now. Great thanks for the share.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, dear Kamal; I am so glad you like it!

      Like

      1. Thanks dear it was too good

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You are so sweet! 😻

        Like

      3. Thanks and same to you too.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Brilliant post. You had be at scone and stone x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, dear Shehanne; I am so glad you like it!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, I am very fond of that story re the stone xxxxxx

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I see – then I am glad I brought it up!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Being a Scot, I kind of thought when I saw the words because of Scone Palace, this is going to be right up my street. Was at Arbroath Abbey recently where they left the stone .

        Liked by 2 people

      4. I wish I could visit there! Did you see the stone?

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Yes once. Many years ago when it was in London. Your post also brought that back. It is now in Edinburgh which is roughly an hour from where we live, in the Scottishj parliament there, although there is another story. That is that it is not the stone that Ian Hamilton and co when they were young and very unafraid took from London because they took ‘that’ stone to a stonemason who made a replica and it was the replica they left in Arbroath Abbey. Also that they left the original with a farmer in Aberdeenshire. But the reason they left whatever stone in Arbroath Abbey was because that was where the declaration of Scottish independence was signed in 1320…. and we are still waiting…
        Ps I have been to Scone Palace and we do laugh here about the pronunciation. Many years back on holiday this lovely English guy pronounced it Scone palace and we had to quietly explain it was Scoon Palace and scones spelt the same way were scones. It was just lovely to see this post in every way xxxxx

        Liked by 3 people

      6. Oh, this pronunciation thing is so cute!
        I hadn’t realized it was a replica; Ian Hamilton does not say it, but that makes Terry Pratchett’s novel even funnier because the scone there is also a replica.

        Liked by 2 people

      7. Last PS I promise you… The reckoning is the America declaration of Independence was based on the Scottish one x

        Liked by 1 person

      8. I love your PS’s! I hope you realize by now that I am a glutton for less known historical facts.

        Liked by 1 person

      9. I am a glutton for such things too. I am sure someone has the right way of that stone. Yes the pronunciation is funny. One of these things where scone as in scone and scone as in Scoon Palace, where the stone of destiny belonged originally and where all the Scottish kings were crowned way back, are spelt the same way. When folks get it wrong I always imagine a big palace made of scones.

        Liked by 2 people

      10. Ohhh, now I want to draw a cartoon, and why didn’t I know it before publishing the post! 😻

        Liked by 1 person

      11. You did fabulously here without knowing all that. Truly!. This is a great post. xx

        Liked by 1 person

      12. Dear Shey – may I call you that? – I am just itching to draw this cartoon and incorporate it somehow, so I guess at some in the future I’ll have to re-post it.

        Liked by 1 person

      13. P.S. I’ll give you full credit for the pronunciation lesson and the image concept, of course!

        Liked by 1 person

      14. You don’t have to credit me or anything. No. No. I can’t wait to see the post! And to quote one of my characters, he hamster dudes’ new ‘friend’ Mrs Ferret, you may call me what you like so long as it is decent. xxxxxxxx

        Liked by 1 person

      15. I’ll bear that in mind, thank you!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. weggieboy says:

    Woo hoo! I believe you’ve invented an improved version of the traditional recipe!

    The version I made (with egg, all purpose flour, white sugar, real unsalted butter etc.) was traditional, but I accidentally used twice the amount of sour cream the recipe called for, which increased bake time to nearly twice the traditional recipe tim. Regardless, it gave an extremely light, flaky product I liked better than traditional recipe scones.

    Between us, I think we improved the traditional recipe, though approached it from different directions!

    I like the fresh fruit variety better than the one with dried fruit, though fresh fruit is harder to incorporate into the stiff batter. I bake on parchment paper to avoid the mess fresh fruit can make on the baking sheet if inadequately lubricated. For that matter I use the parchment paper when using dried fruit, too.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I agree: we have improved the traditional recipe which I have never liked to begin with. I line baking sheets with foil, rather than parchment, but that’s just my preference.
      Health-related dietary issues, such as avoiding gluten and dairy products, prompt me to experiment and come up with non-traditional, but edible results – at least my husband thinks so!

      Like

  5. Osyth says:

    I have had success with chestnut flour for a gluten free scone …. of course, you know I am a Dairy Queen so it is butter all the way for me but my mother used hard margarine but, as you rightly point out it must be absolutely rock hard whatever the shortening of choice. Anyway – blueberries must be a luscious addition indeed 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. With all due respect to both British and French traditions, I am not too fond of chestnuts, and not for want of trying. There are many other gluten free flour options, but my challenge is to use one that necessitates a specific blessing on the finished product, which means either spelt or oats, and my husband doesn’t like oats.
      When blueberries are in season, I simply can’t help it; I have to buy them and stick them into everything I make, from pancakes to salads. 😻

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Osyth says:

        Fair enough! Chestnuts have a definite flavour and I can understand why one wouldn’t be enamoured. Now blueberries …. those I really can’t ever have too many of!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I am like that with any kind of berries!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I make my scones with cranberries, so blueberries sound great too!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your kind comment! I like cranberries as well, but blueberries were in season, so I had to use them up.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m sure your scones were NOT made of stone!! FYI; my Mama makes scones, and they are good! No gravel anywhere!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Then your Mama is definitely not a dwarf!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. That’s good,and neither am I! We can’t have ladies with long red beards running around! Now,a purple beard,on the other hand…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh definitely a purple beard!! lol

        Liked by 1 person

  8. okay, I’m always hungry after reading your blog! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Go make some good stuff! I wish I could send you some…

      Like

    1. Thank you for reblogging.

      Like

  9. Christy B says:

    Oh that’s quite the story, Dolly! I’m a fan of scones 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Are you? As long as you don’t put gravel in them! LOL
      Thank you, dear Christy! 😻

      Liked by 1 person

  10. E says:

    A story and a treat; delicious every time. As we’re approaching Fall I might have to try this ‘from scratch’ recipe. My husband loves scones but I usually cheat and use a box. Shhh. Haha.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, dear; I am so glad you like the “from scratch” recipe! Do try it – it’s fun!

      Like

  11. I’m with you – not crazy about scones – but I probably like them better than you do. I loved the history story and video, including your back and forth with Shey.
    xx,
    mgh

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you! I loved the dialogue with her as well.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Shey’s always delightful – as are the Dudes, of course.
        xx,
        mgh

        Liked by 1 person

  12. You always have such wonderful offerings on your blog. Thank you for sharing. Hugs. xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, dear Patricia; I am so glad you like it! 😸

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Joëlle says:

    I haven’t had, or made, scones in so long I can’t remember when that was! I agree with you, they taste very dry, which is why they are usually loaded with cream (clotted cream is another very British option). This brings me back to the days when I was a French language assistant in England… Another era, dear Dolly!
    Thank you for the recipe, have a nice trip to Boston 😉!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, dear Joelle!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Reblogged this on koolkosherkitchen and commented:

    Before I hit the “reblog” button, I have to note that dear blogo-friend Doug Thomas who had inspired me to create this post has recently lost one of his adorable kitty boys mentioned here. We all miss darling little Dougy and fell for Doug the human.

    Like

  15. marymtf says:

    Those of us from across the pond don’t like our scones tampered with.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am sorry, Mary. I didn’t mean to offend.

      Like

  16. joliesattic says:

    I loved this and the video. I love scones, but I’m also all about butter, so I hope real butter won’t hurt it much.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh no, on the contrary, real butter should make it better. I just can’t have it, so I have to substitute. Thank you for your lovely comment, dear Jolie!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. joliesattic says:

        Oh good! I’m sorry you can’t have the real deal.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you, darling. I make do, of course.

        Liked by 1 person

  17. I may have mentioned that I wouldn’t fancy the chocolate 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No, you haven’t, but chocolate is optional. I am sorry. In any case, I am quite sure that the Culinary Queen knows scones much better than I do. Thank you for stopping by, Derrick.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. I always love your posts, Dolly. ❤ They cover so much history — real and imagined. I laughed at the Low Kings and their method of transferring authority. But it made me think of the Bible verse "So the last shall be first, and the first last" (Matt. 20: 16). God, I suspect, would favor the dwarfish approach (LOL).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL This is the cutest comment I’ve ever had – thank you, dear Anna!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
    SHE ROCKS HER POSTS!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for reblogging, dear friend, I am just having fun!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I can see that! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  20. What a lovely journey from enchantment to the sought after yummy glory. So delicious, I would journey through times’ fantasies and realities for crunches in this jewel of a food. Big hugs to you Dolly! Happy Thursday!☀️🍃🎼

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What a lovely comment, darling! You are such a sweetheart! Happy Thursday to you as well!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lovingly true! 💕😍💕

        Liked by 1 person

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